A few good men
Looking back years ago, I remembered my colleague and friend who worked with me in Africa for almost seven years. Among my circle friends I have, he is quite different and somehow strange. He came from Bacolod and was raised by upper middle class parents who are strict and very religious. In this story, I will name him Bob. His parents as well as Bob are all Baptist.
Bob is not only very religious but also a straight guy who obeys his parent’s wishes and instructions. He doesn’t smoke, drink alcohol nor womanize. I considered him an epitome of being a righteous person. He graduated with honors and he is a product of Don Bosco - Makati. In fact, he was a top-notcher when he took his board examination in Mechanical Engineering. We were all single when I met him. At that time, I was made to believe that Bob will definitely be a good father and perfect husband.
Fast forward, today we were all married and like me Bob had one beautiful daughter too. His family had migrated to USA 6 years ago. What actually shocked me when I learnt few months ago from Bob’s wife that they had actually separated. In my mind, I don’t believe that it was happening. Bob’s wife told me that she was perturbed by constant verbal tussle and fights occurring almost everyday. Worst of all, there were several instances that Bob somehow beat his wife and daughter.
I find it really hard to believe that Bob had changed and he changed for worst. Accordingly, Bob had failed to provide financial support to his daughter. I lost contact with Bob and I didn’t hear his side of story. Truly life is unpredictable. A few good men could turn bad.
It pains me
I was on vacation last Christmas in Manila and got an opportunity to see my former colleague who worked with me in Africa for about 2 years, I guessed so. She had resigned long ago and now happened to work in Makati. Things are not so good with her financially. In fact, she is in heavy debt with her credit card company. She could barely pay the interest. It was quite frustrating to see her in such dire situation.
While we were eating in a cozy restaurant, we talked about those good and bad old days when we were still working with our strange and evil boss. Suddenly, she murmured to me that I had a nice and costly shirt. She further said that oh my husband could not afford to buy such kind of T-shirt. What she said actually pierced my heart since this a lady who happened to love buying costly and quality stuff during the time she was still earning well from her short stint working abroad. Now, they are suffering and need to tighten up their belts even more. Well, since I am still working overseas, I borrowed or should I say gave her US$300.00 to enable her to at least ease their burden.
The social cost of working abroad
Ang dami naming OFW na angkalat sa mundo. Mula sa karatig asia hanggang sa sulok sulok ng Africa ay merong Pnoy na nakikipagsapalaran para guminhawa ang buhay. Pero maganda bang maging OFW. Madami bang masayang OFW? Maaring oo pero marami din sigurong nalulungkot at naghihirap. Kasi nga sa mundong ito bawat aksyon meron counter reaction. So kung sa ngayon ang aksyon mo ay maging OFW, ano kaya ang magiging reaction nuon. Isa na rito ang cost of working abroad. Ano ano nga ba ito? Sa aking pananaw ay ito ang mga sumusunod.
•Ang hindi mo makasama ang mga mahal mo sa buhay dahil nasa malayo kang lugar.
•Ang pagbaba ng antas ng qualidad mo sa buhay. Ang aspetong ito ang patungkol sa gawain mong pang-araw araw nuong di ka pa OFW. Kung lagi kang nasa mall, mahilig kumain ng tuyo o di kaya bagoong o nagsisimba tuwing lingo maaring di mo na magawa ito kung nasa ibang bansa kana. Sigurado akong ma miss mo ito.
•Iyong mga naiwan mo sa Pinas na lagi na lang umaasa saiyo at ayaw nang magtrabaho. Ang inaatupag na lang ay mag tongits, gumala at magpalaki ng bayag.
•Ang homesickness na mararamdaman mo na minsan umaabot pa sa pagkasira ng ulo.
•Minsan paguwi mo sa Pinas doon mo malalaman na madami palang utang ang pamilya mong naiwan at hindi mo alam kung paano mo ito mababayaran.
•Di rin maiwasan na malulong sa bisyo at kung ano ano pang pangyayari na akala mo sa komiks lang pwede ay nangyari sa ilang miyembro ng pamilya mo.
•Dumarami ang fren mo at kamag anak na laging humihingi sa iyo ng tulong na para bang di ka nauubusan ng pera.
•Lumalaki ang sahod ng OFW pero parang mas mabilis dumami ang problema nya.
Tapos sabi nga nila na life is too short. Iyon na nga short na as in short pero bakit kailangan mas mangibabaw ang hirap kesa sa saya.
Shit Happens
Shit Happens
When you woke up in the morning alone and not knowing what to do.
When you were young and saw your father dying of throat cancer due to heavy smoking.
When you noticed that your mother a widow was struggling to make ends meet.
When you were going to college not having any money in your pocket.
When you saw the girl you love but can’t do anything just stare at her.
When you work and go to school at the same time.
When you do all good things for a woman and still she does not appreciate them.
When you do good deeds and nobody cares.
When you were taken for granted and used you for her/his own benefit.
When you were taking good care and helping your only grandmother financially, physically and emotionally until her last day while you were waiting and looking for other relatives to assist you; but they never came.
When you are required to work overseas and missed the opportunity to be with your daughter during her younger years.
When your love was not being reciprocated.
When you know that it is the end of a relationship and nothing you can do about it even you tried hard enough.
When you saw your mother health’s failing due to breast cancer.
When you sacrificed something in order to gain but in the end lost it.
My Mother
Mother is so sick that she barely speaks nor eats. She is having a rough time in fighting the cancer that engulfed her body. It is quite hard for us, her children to accept that she is in her last days of her life.
My mother is a quite extra-ordinary lady who is a widow for more than 30 years now. She takes care of us and make sure that we have sufficient foods on the table and have a decent education. We are not rich and in fact we are trying hard to make ends meet. But with her guts and determination to ensure that we make the days as they come, we survive.
I have so many experiences with my mother good and bad. All of these had thought me so many things in dealing with my life. I definitely believe right now that she had made me strong and courageous enough to face any adversity in my life.
We live most of our lives in Quiapo, a tough neighborhood where addiction and criminality are abundant. Despite of these despicable surroundings, we didn’t succumb to the influence of drugs and easy money making things. I tried my very best to study hard, harder than I could while working part-time in a grocery store. At the end, I and my sister had completed our studies. Sister is now an assistant manager in one biggest bank in the Philippines while I am still an OFW earning enough for my own family who is now in Canada.
My mother is not a perfect person and she has her own demons to deal with. She is so generous to a fault that her friend will take advantage of her generosity. But, it seems she is happy with that. I guess she found happiness in giving. Like any other mother-son relationship, we had some few disagreements. I normally call her two times a week just to chat with her. One time, I told her that you should be happy for your life because you live the best out of it. Her sacrifices to ensure that we finish schooling had paid of not because we, her children, are giving her money on a regular basis, but to the fact that we recognized her sacrifices and pains. And during our school days, I went to school even I don’t have single centavo in my pocket, I trek to school, and I borrowed money to buy books / papers. There were a lot of bumpy roads before I finally graduated in college. I did it because I know she will be disappointed if I would not. I demonstrated my love to her into action. Recognizing her sacrifices and fulfilling what she wants me to be are my best gift to her.
I don’t know how long she can still endure the pain. It’s terrible and disturbs me too. Whatever happens, Ma, I love you for the moment I open my eyes.
It's sharing time
Philippine was hit by a devastating flood that last for almost 24 hours. I can’t imagine what I will do if I were in such situation. It is horrible.
I hope that we can pass this deluge and stand-up from this calamity that knock-out us down.
Despite of this misery, we are full of spirit of giving. I presumed that there will be a lot of OFW will pour donation and help whether in cash or in kind. On my part, I requested one of my friend, who live in Marikina but luckily they are not heavily affected by the flood, to provide food in the school used as evacuation center. Its worth is just P3,000.00 It ain’t much but it will help to say the least.
Long Hiatus
This is a long hiatus from writing my blog. The last blog I wrote was November 2008. Well, it is almost a year. Time really travels too fast. The reason why I am not blogging is there are so much to read in the internet that I have found no time to write at all. But, I am back for now and hope that I could document my life from the past to present and probably the future which I wish to take.
Laki sa Lola
I don’t understand myself whenever I read an article describing the importance of Barack Obama’s Grandmother to him it brought uncontrollable tears in my eyes. I really appreciate his love to his grandmother who he affectionally calls Toots. Though he is so busy in the campaign he still squeezes valuable time to be with his failing Grandma.
Feeling of melancholy captures my mind and heart every time I read such article because I remember my grandmother who died on 2001. My grandma lived with us almost all her lifetime. I am his favorite grandson who accompanied her to all the parties, family visits/reunion, fiesta and other celebration. Well, she was far behind to Barack’s grandma in terms of education and financial status. But, she cared and developed me through my adult life. Lola wherever you are thank you for being part of my life.
